Realizations
by HopefulNebula
Summary: A series of T/T drabbles that I concocted. Shippy romance. Fun!


Title: Realizations

Author: HopefulNebula (HopefullyNebulous@yahoo.com—note the address change!)

Rating: PG

Summary: Several T/T drabbles I wrote because I'm trying to get over writers' block.

Disclaimer: If I owned Enterprise, the travesty that is "The Seventh" would never have made it past the focus group.

Feedback: Only if you take the time to read my stuff.

NB: I know, I know.  I have to update Unified Field.  I'll get to that before the summer's done, I promise.

~~~~~1-T'Pol~~~~~

            I looked into his eyes again today.  What is it about them that makes me want to eschew all of my teachings in order to stay on Enterprise with him?  There is something primal in those eyes, purer than anything I have ever felt.  Yet he manages to control these impulses.  Humans say the eyes are "windows to the soul," and I think some of this has to be true.  Sometimes I want to see all of his soul at once, and at last understand what lies behind his windows.  Maybe someday we will finally understand one another.  One day…

~~~~~2-Trip~~~~~

            It happened on the bridge.  T'Pol looked up at me from her station this morning, and I looked back.  I couldn't look away until she did.  She has really gorgeous eyes.  They go on forever.  Just as deep and strange as she is.  I felt like I was drowning in them.  That never happened with anyone else before.  I don't understand it.  I don't understand _her.  Why did she look at me like that in the first place?  What does it mean?  Her eyes are like the only part of her where she can show emotions.  How intense they are…_

~~~~~3-T'Pol~~~~~

            Commander Tucker argues with me so much.  I think he does it for personal enjoyment.  Lieutenant Hess tells me it is amusing for the Commander and his Engineering crew when he raises his voice or makes jokes at my expense.  I attempt to simply ignore his provocation, but I am often forced to rebuff his most snide remarks.  Regardless of the facts, the incorrigible human always manages to unsettle me with his raw emotions.  Often his emotion and instinct best my pure logic.  It seems that there is some distillable power in his human feelings. What is logical about that?

~~~~~4-Trip~~~~~

            I beat her arguing today.  There are days when I wish I could beat her up too.  How can she tell me what to do like that?  I wonder what makes her keep coming back to me after I win.  It wouldn't be logical to be masochistic.  But sometimes she beats me, and then I come back to her.  It works both ways. It just feels nice being around her.  And we work so well together most of the time.  I just wish she'd learn that feelings are useful to us, and finally respect that.  Maybe I'll talk to her.

~~~~~5-T'Pol~~~~~

            One of Earth's poets once wrote that "much madness is divinest sense," and I must conclude that this madness is what makes Commander Tucker such a brilliant engineer.  It is also what draws me to him.  Yes, I am drawn to him.  Sometime during my quest to understand his inner workings, I realized this.  It is why I have stayed here for two years.  I am compelled to return to the rush I feel whenever we make eye contact, and the softness of his touch, and the way his gentle voice makes me tingle.  Maybe he feels the same way.

~~~~~6-Trip~~~~~

            I think I love T'Pol.  There.  I've said it.  She'd probably say how illogical such a feeling is.  Logical or not, I feel what I feel.  I know how I feel when she speaks, and how every time I touch her, all I can think about is wanting to touch her more.  And those eyes… It's more than physical, though.  There's much more.  I want her to teach me everything about her.  I want to give her whatever she needs.  Too bad she doesn't want anything to do with emotion.  If that's what she wants, though, then I'll stay back.

~~~~~7-T'Pol~~~~~

            He has been avoiding me.  I wonder why he would do this.  Have I made my emotions visible for him to react to?  Have I done something else to upset him?  Or is he reacting to his own feelings?  Perhaps he really does feel something toward me.  Perhaps he is as attracted to me as I am to him.  What would happen if he is?  Would we even be able to pursue a relationship?  The High Command would likely not be pleased, but I don't answer to them anymore.  One thing—only one—is certain:  I must talk to him.

~~~~~8-Trip~~~~~

            This is just hurting worse and worse.  I have to do something about this.  Maybe we can just go back to normal.  But what is normal?  I don't think I can do that.  I could talk to her.  And then what?  She'd get disgusted by my humanity and go back to Vulcan.  And then she'd be gone, and I'd still be miserable.  It doesn't have to be that way, though.  There are other alternatives, I'm sure.  I just have to think of them.  But there are still so many possibilities.  Things could go wrong.  But what if she says yes?

~~~~~9-T'Pol~~~~~

            The door chime is ringing, but my meditation was complete.  I can speak to my visitor.  I open the door to find a pair of deep blue eyes staring into my own.  Without removing my gaze from his, I see the rest of his face.  Have I ever realized how pleasing his features are?  He speaks, but I do not listen.  All I see are his eyes as I step closer to him.

            "T'Pol?  You OK?"

            "I am fine."  I must touch him, just once.  I brush his face and a jolt surges through me.  I don't want to stop.

~~~~~10-Trip~~~~~

            Wow.  I can feel in her touch—not only does she love, she loves me.  She loves me.  Philip Pullman was right: things don't have to be possible, they have to be true. This is as impossible as warp flight, microsingularities, or dark matter nebulae.  But it's true.  I have to do something or she'll pull away.  And I don't want that.  What did I hear about Vulcan ears?  Right.  I bring my hand up to caress her ear.  And then she's moaning.

            "Ever been kissed?" I whisper.

            "No."

            "Do you want to start?"

            "Yes."  And that feels so great.


End file.
